What are if-then plans, and do they work for porn urges?

Deciding what to do in the moment is the worst time to decide. Under craving, reasoning gets narrow and short-horizoned, and whatever is easiest wins. If-then plans move the decision to a moment when you can think.

"I'll resist when I get urges" is not a plan: it names no situation and no action. "If I'm still on my phone in bed after 11pm, then I'll put it on the desk and read the paperback on the nightstand" is a plan. It has a detectable trigger and a physical action, and because the cue itself retrieves the response, you are not generating a new decision under pressure.

• If I get in from work and the flat is empty and I feel that specific flatness, then I put trainers on and walk for fifteen minutes before I sit down.
• If I've had an argument and I'm alone afterwards, then I text someone rather than open the laptop.
• If it's Sunday afternoon and nothing is scheduled, then I go to the café with a book. Out of the flat.

Every then is a concrete physical action. "I'll calm down" is not one; "I'll leave the room" is. Build three, mapped to your three commonest patterns. Not ten. Three you will remember at 1am.

Where this comes from

Read the full lesson: If-then plans →